Saturday Night

So Aggy was out on a work night out and me and Oli were bored and had nothing to do, so I met up with Oli in town and decided to have a few drinks in the garden and chill.
So I bought a 4 pack of Stella Artois (we were trying to be butch, but that is all we could manager) and a 70cl bottle of Vodka.
So we are sat there with the gorgeous sun beating down on us, enjoying some al fresco drinks when Oli comes out with the revelation that he is actually not due into work until Sunday afternoon.
So after devouring the majority of the alcohol and listening to many hours of diva's singing, we decide we are owed a night out!
We actually went out at 9pm, something neither of us have done in around 2 years!
Normally we go out between 11pm and 1am, but hey ho we were out to break the norm.
I slipped on my new round neck slashed black tee, and jeans and slathered on a bit of fake tan and we were off.
Ican't really remember being in the Kings Cross, but then we were in Icon. Here we saw Oli's one time date, we shall call Leon, and he had a friend with him.
Said friend had a mole on his top lip, and was a nice guy, if on the higher part of curvy.
So anyway in Icon they were giving out free shots of Rum and Coke, me and Oli were enjoying this very much.
Cut to us several drinks later rather tipsy, a lot of the rest of the night is quite a blur, but the next thing I know I am in Exit - a nightclub that has not closed in 17 years, open even on xmas day - in Exit I am dancing on the steps leading to the dancefloor, like I am Madonna on the Sticky and Sweet tour, having my opening night in Cardiff, and addressing my adoring public. In reality I am addressing a guy who looks like Mr Muscle from the 90's, a guy who looks like he is in his 90's and half of the council estate in Ely. But hey beggars can't be choosers. We meet up with Nicole and Elaine a lesbian couple who are bordering in between Bench wearing dykes and lipstick lesbians with a certain panache.
I can't recall much of the conversation but I like to think in my drunken stooper I still have some sort of intelligent conversation left in me.
Well I am dancing alone - every gay should, we are too fabulous - and then Aggy comes stumbling in.
According to Aggy he asked me for a drink, and I handed him a £20, even though in his words he could hear my dancing from down the street with all the coins in my pocket - the actual amount the next day was £27 in £1 coins.
So the rest of the night seemed to pass quite uneventfully, and I found myself in Chippy Alley, demanding vegetarian food at 4am as usual.
The next day I awoke and felt okay and called Oli.
It turns out Oli actually slept with Leon's friend! You know moley, this is not the best part, Oli believes he actually fell asleep during sex!!!!
Oli woke up alone in his flat, with not so much as a post it on the pillow next to him! Men are bastards, I mean how shit would you feel if your shag fell asleep mid way through your best moves?!
So that was our unplanned night out, this weekend we are all attending a charity event in a small town called Bridgend, the town is actually getting smaller due to the majority of the towns people commiting suicide (check it out if you don't believe me).
So this weekend should provide me with lots of stories for you all.