Lindsay Lohan

Right first things first I LOVE the hot mess known as La Lohan!
She provides literally millions of hours of entertainment to me, myself and I.
Who would have thought all those years ago, that ginger, freckly kid in the Parent Trap, would grow up to be a ginger, freckly kid getting stuck in bear traps while high on Ketamine?!

I for one did not see that coming.
Recently I have found myself buying many of her DVD's and enjoying them, whilst drinking copious amounts of Bombay Saphire.
One that I really do recommend is "I know who killed me", now that is a little gem of a film, where La Lohan plays not 1 but 2 characters! Something she has not done since "The Parent Trap", BUT do not get confused by the two, they are slightly different. In IKWKM the giner whinger is a good girl and a stripper, the good girl gets kidnapped by some psycho who cuts off limbs etc, the usual psycho's you meet in the street really, well while stripper Lohan is pole dancing for her life with Ru Paul, telling her to work it in her head, her limbs start falling off!
I personally would pay to see a strip tease where a girls leg just pops off half way through her going upside down on a pole, and the only pole I ever wanna see is connected to Jake Gyllenhall!

The long and the short of it - lets face facts you are never gonna wacth this film - is that they are twins, and are feeling each others pain! INGENIOUS!

I really feel that she displayed her acting skills and the academy of the golen raspberry obviously agreed with me, nominating her for both groundbreaking roles!
La Lohan was obviously gutted by the film not breaking box office records after she billed it as the new "Titanic" and thought this was the start of her new career as Hollywoods sweetheart.
So what does she do we all ask? Well what would you do! Become a Lesbian psychopath of course, stalking Sam the Man Ronson and generally going all single white female on her ass is just one of many tabloid gold worthy stories she provided the world with.

I think Lohan saw that trailer park diva Britney Spears was starting to stop walking the streets of LA like Ripley in Alien 3, wielding her umbrella like a gun, so Lohan saw an opening for a new nut job, after all Anna Nicole was gone, Brit Brit was sedated and Sherri Shepherd was going all Whoopi on us by presenting "The View". I feel La Lohan was doing this for us - her people.

If anyone has any other priceless little ginger gems for me to check out please let me know, but the other amazing little DVD's for you to rent from netflix are, "Georgia Rules" - Lohan gets sexually abused, they make a light hearted film about it, where Lohan hilariously moves to a small town and seduces half the male population, before the climax is she was molested by her step father, "Life Size" - Ty Ty Baby becomes Lohan's very own life size doll, very much like those one's that lonely balding fat men fuck when they can't get any Vag, but the dolls have more personality, expressions and communication than Tyra, and "Labour Pains" - Lohan fakes pregnancy, not really sure why, but how long till life imitates art?!

So lets all kneel at the alter of La Lohan and watch all her straight to DVD movies, whilst remembering a ginger is for life not just for sick jokes and quick pokes.