I know I am now getting old

So I have now realised at the tender age of 27, that I am actually starting to get old.

I thought I had at least 10 years left of being young and carefree, but nope old age is already setting in! It all started 2 nights ago, I found myself home alone - The boyfriend, we shall call him Agador Spartacus or Aggy for short, had gone to the cinema with his "whoop whoop" girlfriends to see the latest shiteous film by Jennifer "I still love Brad" Anniston - so I thought I would have a nice relaxing bath in time to watch a particular TV program.

So I had my bath and then came downstairs in some sweat pants and a Tee, and lit some candles - still with me? - and then sat down to watch "the delicious miss dahl" on BBC2.

I remember just a couple of years ago, I would go out every night, wear fierce clothes, and in the words of Edward Cullen's female alter ego Ke$ha, brushed my teeth with a bottle of Jack(although I would have been much classier, like courvoisier or moet - I am a gay darling!).
After watching the show, and enjoying it I posted a status update on facebook and my BFF - who you will be hearing a lot about, we shall call him, Oliver or Oli for short, was doing the exact same thing and he is only 26!

I thought this was a one off, a glitch in my otherwise cool exterior, until last night came. I was alone until around 8.30pm as Aggy was working late, so I was flicking around on the TV channels, having a good old surf, when I came across BBC2. Well last nights treat came in the form of "the edible garden", well as you can imagine I was enthralled! Knitting needles in hand, ploughing away at my lap, like Jodie Marsh in Stringfellows! (I made that last bit up for effect)

The end of the show came, and they advertised their website, where you could obtain FREE seeds to start your own edible garden, well you can imagine me can't you! I was tapping away at that laptop like Boy George looking for his next hooker to cuff to the radiator and now my seeds (actual seeds not some rent boy's semen) are in the post!

I spoke with Oli, and obviously recommended him going on to the iplayer and having a gander, to which his reply was, "next you will be watching Murder She Wrote and lifetime movies!" the little bitch knows full well I do both. I like nothing better than spending an afternoon with Murder She wrote on the sky plus, fleecey throw over my legs watching to see who Jess Fletcher can frame for her next kill, she is the worlds biggest serial killer, the original Dexter and puts Harold Shipman to shame! If Rose "queen dyke" West could get her hands on her in Broadmoor, the world would surely come to an end!